Spite

(phone rings)

Male Customer: Hey, do you have that nylon jacket, called the "Warmest Jacket?" In blue? In a large?

Ian: (happily) We certainly do, sir!

Customer: The one with fleece lining?

Ian: (happily) Yes, sir!

Customer: In blue, called the "Warmest Jacket?"

Ian: (yet still happily) Yup!

Customer: A large with fleece lining, nylon shell...

Ian: (with slight wonder) Large blue Warmest Jacket with fleece lining, sir. Yes. We have it.

Customer: You're sure it has fleece lining?

Ian: YES.

Customer: Well... Put it on hold for Randy, please.

After Ian got rid of Randy, I handed my coworker a hold ticket. "I'm spelling his name with an 'i' out of spite!" Ian did, and I laughed. Poor Randi.

I am a rabid participant of spite. Just the other day, I took a massive swig of orange juice from the carton when my germ-conscientious inlaws were in the other room. Just to spite them for frustrating me and for not being my parents. (We've discussed my "I miss mommy" complex.)

Quick, tell me something that YOU have done spitefully, especially if it crosses over to outright malice. Then I might not feel quite as evil.