Friday, March 03, 2006

In the Name of Love... and chili beans.

I wish my inlaws didn't infuriate/amuse me the way they do. Before I continue, let me express my undertstanding that most of the annoyance lies within my own weakness. I really do love them dearly.
That being said, it's time for some

Schmeez Droppings
Thoughts, Realizations, and Excremental Wisdom

  • I love Eric, Darin's younger brother. We were on NET together in 2000, and can easily communicate and tease each other. I enjoy spending time with him, despite his poor taste in film. (C'mon, Unbreakable?!) Anyway, he's cool, intelligent, and a taller version of Darin. Plus he laughs at my jokes.
  • Brian, on the other hand... This Recon Marine cannot maintain a conversation unless it regards himself. His wife is the same way. If ever I volunteer information, Brian and Sharron look at me in a slightly puzzled manner and quickly revert the topic back to themselves or their children. Brian is rude, crass, and egocentric. A typical conversation:
Brian: "Louise, if you saw my fist come flying at your face, would you be scared?"
Me: "Uh, yeeah..."
Brian: "So would I!" (guffaws)
  • Why does Mr. Dad avoid good books? I desperately want to introduce him to some Fathers and Doctors of the Church. He has never even touched the Confessions. He is a huge follower of Poem of the Man God and stuff by "Anne" the Lay Apostolate. Momma say Whaa?
  • My mom-in-law is very small, sweet, and considerate. That is why I feel so badly when she annoys me. If she was boisterous, it would be easier. This woman has two characteristics which I cannot hope to ever understand. She mutters and hovers. While the family sits down at table with after-dinner coffee, Mrs. Mom will not join in. She quietly leans over the conversators, wiping up every microscopic crumb, slowly and without a sound. I want to scream, "For Aslan's sake, woman!!! SIT DOWN!!"
  • If there is any kind of wait at a restaurant, she wants to leave. If there are leftovers in the fridge, she force-feeds. If someone double-dips, she shows more emotion than if someone swears in front of the children.
  • What would you do if your eldest brother-in-law smacked you on your bottom? Hard?
  • I got into a debate with Mr. Dad about interracial marriages. He says that the child of a mixed marriage will not be accepted by either race. I pause for effect. He is slave to the ludicrous idea that all black people are from the ghetto and participate in drive-by shootings. Love does not play into his arguments at all... Isn't the point of marriage to bring the other person to heaven? He was absolutely appalled when I revealed that despite their strict dating rules, my parents made it clear to me that it did not matter which race I married into. He also wasn't aware that I have a 1/2 & 1/2 for an aunt- half black, half hispanic. Don't mess with me, buddy. Mr. Dad also thinks leftys should be trained at a young age to be right-handed. My case is rested.
  • Brian's kids are adorable. I had a lot of fun playing with them. Good times.
  • I do love my in-laws! I do! I am just completely happy to settle back into my cluttered apartment, with my own coffee and Splenda and computer and schedule.
  • GIYOOO!!!
  • Meghan and I are doing a scene from Twelfth Night. I am utterly excited, as I have never done Shakey before. I am Olivia, she is Viola- completely appropriate. I see it as a throwback to the AMC newspaper caption under a pic of Meghan and I from "The Importance of Being Earnest": Louise and Meghan are two young woman in love. Maybe so.
  • I am singing a love song with Dr. A as well. From Evita?! As Angel would say with her head down on the table: "Three shots!"
  • American Idol rocks my little Catholic world; Darin and I love Elliott. Any thoughts on this adorably toothy guy from the south?
Off to work. I have 30 minutes to pack an overnight-bag, get dressed, have lunch, make a snack, straighten my hair, and canoodle with Darin. Ciao!

11 comments:

Angel Roth said...

1) Us poor persecuted sinister ones... is Mr. Mohr implying I was a mistake?
2) If my eldest bro-in-law smacked me on the bottom, I'd do it back.
3) I agree completely about the coffee, computer, and splenda.
Giyoo!!

Philothea Rose said...

yikes!

God has funny ways of helping us grow in patience. I'm thinking your in-laws may be yours.

Emily said...

Louise, I laughed HARD. I think it's because I can totally relate...I don't have in-laws (obviously) but I can relate to the whole visiting the "other side of the family" stuff...hehe.

On a side note: you sing BEAUTIFULLY!

Meghan said...

Oh, Ohio the Beautiful with its amber waves of panic. Your bullet point complaints elicited my sympathy. They seem very sweet and likeable with tics which may not be easily understandable. At least Darin is cool.

And Yeah! Twelfth Night. I've been wanting to flirt with you for a long time now.

Oh crap...are we supposed to have our lines memorized?

Meghan said...

Oh, Ohio the Beautiful with its amber waves of panic. Your bullet point complaints elicited my sympathy. They seem very sweet and likeable with tics which may not be easily understandable. At least Darin is cool.

And Yeah! Twelfth Night. I've been wanting to flirt with you for a long time now.

Oh crap...are we supposed to have our lines memorized?

Black Mona said...

yay for ghetto/aristocratic babies!!!
and as for the others...i agree with you about the hovering....talk about a turrets-inducing problem! and for sure...if your bro-in-law is gonna smack you...smack him back! he wouldn't be able to complain.*evil chuckle* (i love when that happens...) as for dad...pity is the # 1 emotion here....poor dad...;-P thanks for the honorable mention!

The Last Balancer said...

Man oh man, if this Mr.Dad was part of my family, and he is half as annoying and pretentious as you claim he is. . .

death. . .

DEATH.

Emily said...

I started reading twelf night yesterday and now i understand what u girls mean about "flirting" with each other... that play is horrid! i am not liking it...

Emily said...

*twelfth

Louise said...

EMILY! It's a great play! We have to contemplate it together!

Anonymous said...

you have a blog and you didnt tell me!?!?!?!?!
patty