Holidays are hectic.
Like clockwork, I contracted an illness before Christmas which barred all speaking abilities. In addition, I worked full-time in retail.
*pause for effect*
Please don't. I've wept enough for all of us.
The important thing is, I'm back. And at a very opportune time, too. Tomorrow morning, I'm flyin' outta this Midwest wasteland of cold and ghetto, and into the land of lollipops and pumpkins! West coast, baby.
Why should you give me another chance, you may ask? AHEM.
My eldest sister, i.e. The Ice Queen, has more or less disowned the rest of the family because of a dispute between her husband Joe and my dear brother Dave. She feels that everyone has taken my brother's side in this abomination of her husband's character and business integrity. Let me add that the truth is quite clear.
In short, I am going to have an exciting eleven days at home. I foresee a cross between Jerry Springer, Dr. Laura, and EWTN. Despite all potential crap, I can't wait to see my family and pets. It's been so long since I've spent non-stressed quality time with my mom. (Let me tell ya, wedding planning does not bring out the best in people.)
In conclusive conclusion, say a little prayer for my flight. I'll be sure to update as much as possible. With pictures! And profanity! And Jujubes!