Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Coffee, Artichokes, and Weird Al

I am glad to say that today was one of those rare "perfect days." Since Darin worked all night, I made sure to stay up relatively late reading a book. (Unfortunately, it was one of those murder mysteries where the main character is disturbingly similar to yourself. FREAKY. I had to call Darin twice.) He came home early this morning and we slept until noon. I could have gotten up earlier, but I was much too warm and comfortable. A definite bonus of unemployment.

I brewed the last of my Jack Daniel's coffee and enjoyed a buttered english muffin while Darin feasted on strawberry poptarts and his grapefruit juice concoction. The weather was perfectly cool and crisp. An apple cider and pumpkin day. We began it with overdue grocery shopping, selecting pillows for our new couch, window shopping, and simply enjoying each other's company. After dinner, we started off for Michael's to buy frames for our apartment decor, namely Mary Mark's "Still Life with Artichokes" and Klimt's "The Kiss."

At a rather long stoplight, we noticed a Hollywood Video employee waiting in angst to get across the street to work. (Darin and I recognized his uniform immediately because we were shift leaders at HV for three years.) It was exactly 5 o'clock, so we assumed it was time for work. The purple-shirted young man (let's call him Herb) paced maniacally, growled, and kept hitting the button that supposedly controls the stoplights. They totally don't. As Darin yelled in vain, "They're only there for your peace of mind! They don't care if you want to cross the street!" Anyway, Darin and I had a big laugh watching poor Herb and his dilemma develop as not one bloody car let him cross. When the light finally turned green and the white glowing man miraculously appeared, Herb booked it across the street to Hollywood Video with flailing arms and a desperate face, not paying any attention to the blind Michigan drivers almost colliding into him. Darin and I just hysterically laughed. Poor Herb.

After our errands I ran into Starbucks for a vanilla latte, and we headed home. Oh, and I got 10 cents off my drink because I answered their trivia question correctly: "What country does the word 'chai' come from?" I said omnisciently, "It is a Chinese word meaning 'tea.' 'Chai tea,' therefore, is quite a redundant phrase." Amazing what one can learn from a Celestial Seasonings box.

The entire day was highlighted with Weird Al car music. Darin rapped. It was simultaneously hilarious and screwy. I had to remind Darin that he is an Ohioan white boy. Here's an excerpt of my husband's musical talent (he has this memorized):

Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It's all about the Pentiums, what?
You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
You've got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You're the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller

Darin actually understands what the above means. Computers. I live with a man and eight computers.

I am home now and the apartment is decorated and rationed. The soundtrack from "Annie" is playing and I just finished doing a little dance routine to "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile." Darin laughed. Out of pity? Out of embarrassment? Perhaps, but he's too nice to mention it.


Kate said...

It must be so much fun to be you two. :-)

BTW, Liam says he doesn't really know Darin at all, but he's totally going to mention the Tweety boxers some day. He has sympathy though, since I blog about him all the time.

Louise said...

Ahem... Yes, I suppose I asked for it. Luckily, Darin is secure enough in his manhood to laugh at himself wearing my ladybug boxers. So make his day, Liam!