Saturday, November 26, 2005

An Untitled Evening

I'm heeeeere.

Back from Thanksgiving, two excruciatingly long work days equipped with evil mom-shoppers, and icy roads. I welcome the change. I happily return to my cozy apartment, devour my mother-in-law's delicious pie, and relish the fact that I finally have a Sunday off. I plan to sleep, watch TV, grocery shop, and sleep some more. *Homer drool*

And now it's time for....

Schmeez Droppings
Thoughts, Realizations, and Excremental Wisdom
  1. Darin's family is quietly dysfunctional. The familial resentment lies underneath the surface, occasionally exposing its ugly one-eyed head. My family's dysfunctionality, however, is overt. Wonderfully overt. With unsurpassed comedic undertones. From the eldest sister's insecurity ("Louise, you dress like a skank") to Dad's mood swings ("Hee hee hee... Aah, I'm a failure!"), we put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
  2. Kendrea and I had our lunch break together this afternoon. We went to a Mexican restaurant and had a lovely time until we found out that our two diminutive sides of guacamole cost $3.25 each. Kendrea employed her anger by witholding a tip, relaying the story to everyone at work, and constantly muttering "Three twenty-five" under her breath.
  3. I don't exactly know what to say when my homosexual coworkers/managers gush about my husband. "Um... Louise, are you sure he's married?"
  4. Be nice to retail employees at this time of year. Most people are utterly rude... ironic, this being CHRISTMAS and all!
  5. Eric, my brother-in-law and longtime buddy, is now comfortable enough to commit the sin of flatulence in my presence.
  6. I hope that tonight is one of those nights where Darin and I lie in bed, laughing our heads off about stupid words and phrases we just made up.
  7. I am so fortunate that I married a man with a good natural smell. Darin perpetually smells good, which is more than I can say for most men. Even his morning breath qualifies as 'cute.'
  8. I need Lulabelle.
The java has worn off and I suddenly have nothing interesting to say. The current temperature is 33 degrees. But it feels like 27 degrees. There are Southeast winds from 5-10 miles per hour, which will increase to 20-30 miles per hour as the night goes on. And then I found 20 bucks.

6 comments:

Mel said...

I decided I wanted to leave a comment, then discovered I had nothing to say that would improve upon your already excremental doings. Meh, maybe I'll think of more as the adrenaline courses through my system this week.

Happy Late Thanksgiving!!

Meghan said...

Hahaha! Louise, this blog is great! I agree with your preference for overt dysfunction; that's hysterical that Darin can find no safe place in The GAP; and I'm thrilled at your closer bond with your brother-in-law.

Brigid said...

Louise,

If I can tell, you work in Briarwood mall? I worked there for two years and the Xmas season is HELL. Advice: when people are mean, one good thing to say is (with a sad, pleading smile) "It's my first day"... and they usually are sympathetic. I said that to customers all the time if I screwed up. :)

and take it in stride, it's hilarious to see how people act during this time of year!!
:)
-Brigid

Thomas said...

forget weather.com I'm sticking to your blog for my forecasts. Dare I hope there could be a chance of scattered impropriety with a 70% chance of impertinence? :P

oh and glad you liked the napoleon top 10. I'm sure you've seen stuff like this: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/ndsound.php as well.

Thomas said...

oh hey - forget the stupid soundboard. the prank calls are much funnier: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/napoleondynamite-prank1.html

Louise said...

Thom,
I have used ebaum to prank call my parents- hilarious. I also used "Slingblade" on the inlaws, but they didn't get it. At all.