Sunday, November 27, 2005

Spite

(phone rings)

Male Customer: Hey, do you have that nylon jacket, called the "Warmest Jacket?" In blue? In a large?

Ian: (happily) We certainly do, sir!

Customer: The one with fleece lining?

Ian: (happily) Yes, sir!

Customer: In blue, called the "Warmest Jacket?"

Ian: (yet still happily) Yup!

Customer: A large with fleece lining, nylon shell...

Ian: (with slight wonder) Large blue Warmest Jacket with fleece lining, sir. Yes. We have it.

Customer: You're sure it has fleece lining?

Ian: YES.

Customer: Well... Put it on hold for Randy, please.

After Ian got rid of Randy, I handed my coworker a hold ticket. "I'm spelling his name with an 'i' out of spite!" Ian did, and I laughed. Poor Randi.

I am a rabid participant of spite. Just the other day, I took a massive swig of orange juice from the carton when my germ-conscientious inlaws were in the other room. Just to spite them for frustrating me and for not being my parents. (We've discussed my "I miss mommy" complex.)

Quick, tell me something that YOU have done spitefully, especially if it crosses over to outright malice. Then I might not feel quite as evil.

5 comments:

Thomas said...

I've totally not placed trash in its proper receptacle. While people were watching, too.

beat that, pikers.

Mel said...

traditionally not given to spite, I frequently play sadistically with the minds of others out of mere boredom.

I've also been known to make rather colorful statements when provoked. ask me for further details.

Fightgar said...

oh i'm the king of spite. whenever their are army guys around i start talking(really loudly) about why the army is full of fat ugly losers and why the marine corp rules...its so true too

Louise said...

Thom, you devil.

Mel, you crazy.

Pepin, there is no contest between the Army and Marines. *drool*... MARINES.

Thomas said...

they're such hot little potatoes.